


by the time they let us go, I was already gone

by janie_tangerine



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Handcuffs, Idiots in Love, M/M, The Author Regrets Everything, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, blame keith urban okay, idek what this is, idiots in love getting arrested for trespassing, off-handed ramsay bolton mention but he's not in this really, robb being the knight in shining armor that theon deserves, sort of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-16
Updated: 2014-06-16
Packaged: 2018-02-04 22:07:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,260
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1794862
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/janie_tangerine/pseuds/janie_tangerine
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><i>This party blows, and he </i>likes<i> Robb, as much as he can like anyone, and maybe they’re friendly with each other and he hasn’t had a friend since elementary school, but he does have a car.</i></p><p> </p><p>  <i>“Want to drive up to the airport?”</i></p><p> </p><p>  <i>“What?”</i></p><p> </p><p>  <i>“Well. It’s a no trespassing zone, so if we get caught it’s gonna be a problem, but if you want to go look at some planes taking off, I can drive as far as the sign and then we can sneak in. If we’re careful, no one’s going to notice.”</i></p><p> </p><p>Or: where getting arrested for having sneaked into a no trespassing zone with Robb Stark is probably the best thing that's ever happened to Theon, or close to it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	by the time they let us go, I was already gone

**Author's Note:**

> sooo: HI THROBB WEEK HAS STARTED so it's that time of the year where I spam you with shit that has been sitting on my hard drive for too long.
> 
> This thing though wasn't a kink meme fill or anything - actually I wrote it thinking I'd post it for throbb week so here we go. Er. So, I had the idea for this listening to Keith Urban's new record specifically [this dumb song](http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/keithurban/copcar.html) [[x](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aJAe5miXN_Y)] and well really it pretty much follows that premise, so. And as anything based off a freaking Keith Urban song, if you want angst this is not the droid you're looking for.
> 
> Also: I'll try to post two fics each day if everything goes according to plan, so get ready for the spamming. And follow throbbiscanon.tumblr.com ;)

Robb Stark is an accident.

An accident that was never supposed to happen, but that happened nonetheless, and as Theon waves back at him across the Baratheons' terribly crowded living room, he wonders how the hell did it even unfold until this point.

See, the thing is that Robb Stark isn't really in Theon's league. He’s actually the kind of person Theon is supposed to hate. It’s not just that the guy seems just too _good_ to be real – gorgeous looks, he’s nice to everyone, he’s legitimately the only person in their entire school that no one hates, he has perfect attendance records and his grades are all top-notch, the entire package. His family is damn well-off, but he doesn’t brag about it. He has five siblings – five, for fuck’s sake – and they all seem to love each other dearly, from what you can see whenever they come to the annual school play, where Robb always has a role in. In short, he’s the kind of person Theon should hate or at least be plenty jealous of, and with whom he should never even talk, because why the fuck would anyone like Robb Stark have anything to do with _him_? He’s gone through four years of high school without any friends whatsoever, most of his clothing is hand-me-downs from his deceased older brothers (try and convince his dad that maybe he wants to wear his own clothes once in a while - it doesn't ever work), his attendance record is everything but pristine and while he doesn’t exactly scrape by he never could put that much effort in fucking grades.

They would have never even talked to each other if they hadn’t ended up randomly paired together for a science project a few months ago. Theon had barely restrained himself from groaning out loud the moment the names were said – he was going to bet money that Stark would have just been polite because he is with everyone, and he’d have tried to get it done in two days using the school library.

Turns out he had been completely wrong. Robb had gone and introduced himself without seeming as if he did it out of obligation – _hi, I don’t know why we never spoke to each other before but I can’t wait to get to know you_ – and promptly invited him over to his house that afternoon so they could discuss the project. His mother, apparently, always cooked a lot, so surely there would be enough for another person. Then, on the way there, he had confessed that he was pretty terrible at chemistry, and when Theon had more or less managed to say that it was one of the few subjects he was actually good at, Robb had perked up and said that it was a good thing that at least one of them would know what they were doing. His parents were perfectly nice and Robb was perfectly nice and they had met throughout the week, always at Robb’s place. Their work was done on time, and they actually got straight A-s on it, and meanwhile Robb had never asked him once why his clothes never really suited him or why they couldn’t go to his place for once or – or anything of the kind.

They had hung out a few times after then, too, mostly to catch a movie or so, and Theon still doesn’t have an idea of why Robb even wants to hang out with him, not when he could have his pick of – popular people, he supposes.

And now that they’re at Joffrey Baratheon’s party, where everyone in their class was invited because apparently Baratheon’s mom forced him to – Theon is sure that is because Joffrey doesn’t have any friends that don’t hang around him for his money. And Robb is waving at him as if he’s relieved to see a familiar face.

Theon grabs a bottle of beer and cautiously makes his way through the room – before he’s at the other corner, Robb excuses himself from the five conversations he was having at the same time and bolts towards him, nodding towards the door.

Theon follows him out.

“Not having a good time, Stark?” He asks when they’re finally breathing fresh air.

Robb snorts and drinks from his own beer bottle. “Understatement. I’ve been hanging around this place since I was five and I’ve always hated it.”

“Wait, what?”

Robb shrugs. “My dad and Joffrey’s dad are close friends, so they always came at ours and we went at theirs. I guess they hoped we’d become friends. But he hates me and I reciprocate.”

“ _You_ , hating someone?”

“I’m perfectly capable of hating people,” Robb answers, the corner of his mouth quirking up, and Theon’s throat goes dry at once. Damn. Robb has no right to look this damn _good_. Never mind that the gray three-piece suit with a dark red tie he’s wearing looks like it was tailored for him. Theon’s wearing an old Guns n’ Roses t-shirt that at least is his own (he bought it at a thrift shop) and one of Maron’s old plaid shirts which is frayed at the hems and makes the entire outfit look like a punch in the eyes, if you ask his own honest opinion. Then again, he doesn’t exactly own any clothes suited for _fancy parties_ , but Joffrey Baratheon’s place beat an evening on his own with his father, for fucking sure.

“I don’t doubt that,” Theon agrees. He’s seen enough of Robb in the last two months to realize that the guy has actually human emotions other than _being nice_.

For a moment no one says anything, both of them sipping their beer, and then a plane rushes over their heads. Right. There’s an airport not far – you could get there driving for twenty minutes or so.

Robb sighs. “I kind of wish I could get on one of those right now,” he suddenly says, sounding wistful.

“What?”

“It’s kind of stupid, but – this party blows, I hate _formal clothes_ , Margaery Tyrell has been trying to sweet-talk me for the last two hours when she knows she’s not my type –“

“What? You know that half the school would like to be in your place?”

“Yeah, well, she’s not my type. Other than that, next week is A-levels finals, and I’m already dreading it, and – well, have a look.”

Theon gasps as Robb hands him his phone. Differently from the ones their classmates mostly own, it’s not the latest IPhone model – it’s at least four years old and definitely outdated, but it looks like it was bought yesterday for how... spotless it looks. Theon’s is an old as fuck model which only calls, texts and allows you to play _Snake_ , but he hardly can be jealous of Robb. Hell, when he asked why did he still have a 3GS when all their peers show off their brand new 5S, Robb had answered that it had a cost a fucking hell of a lot of money back then and he’s going to take care of it and use it until it falls to pieces.

It’s opened on Robb’s text folder. He reads them through, and – wow. Most of their class has texted him for something. Help with Latin, help with English Lit, how did he solve that math problem, how did he translate that thing for French and so on. It’s at least twenty unanswered texts.

“Don’t they even know you’re terrible at maths?”

“Of course not. And thanks for the help yesterday, by the way.”

“It wasn’t anything,” Theon replies truthfully – Robb had texted him at ten in the evening asking if he could _please_ text back the answer to some trigonometry homework they had which he couldn’t finish if he tried. Theon had done it on the bus back home and he only had been too happy to help out.

“Still. I just want to be done, you know?”

“I do,” Theon replies truthfully. He wants to be done with things other than school, but he gets the feeling even too well. If only he could just get away from everything his dad-related, but that’s not the day.

“I always wondered how would it be to look at them taking off from the outside,” Robb suddenly says as a second plane flies over them.

“What?”

“It’s kind of stupid. But. You know, being near one when they take off. You always see that in movies and stuff but never up close – you’re always _in_ the plane.”

Good point. Theon doesn’t get why Robb would want to do that so much, there’s nothing special about planes taking off, but –

Well. This party blows, and he _likes_ Robb, as much as he can like anyone, and maybe they’re friendly with each other and he hasn’t had a friend since elementary school, but he does have a car.

“Want to drive up to the airport?”

“What?”

“Well. It’s a no trespassing zone, so if we get caught it’s gonna be a problem, but if you want to go look at some planes taking off, I can drive as far as the sign and then we can sneak in. If we’re careful, no one’s going to notice.”

“… You’re serious,” Robb says after looking at him in the eyes for a couple of moments.

“Deadly. So, you wanna go?”

Theon had been ready for a lot of reactions.

He’s not ready for Robb grinning like it’s his fucking birthday and say that sure, you only live once, why not, they should go.

Theon doesn’t point out that he drank a beer so he _shouldn’t_ be driving, but then again it takes him a lot more than that to get even close to buzzed, so he figures that if he drives carefully he’ll be fine.

He also feels sort of self-conscious as Robb slips into the passenger seat of Asha’s old car which was already second-hand when she bought it. It’s not that it’s dirty or anything, but it’s obvious that it’s been around for a while - the engine's noise and there are old tapes and magazines all over the backseat. It’s not like he had cleaned shit up before getting here.

Robb doesn’t seem to mind, though.

Theon turns on the radio, doesn’t try to not roll his eyes when Robb looks very pleased as some Bon Jovi song comes on air.

So maybe he feels a bit giddy as he drives, even if he's careful to not let it get to his head and to stay within the speed limit. He parks just outside the no trespassing sign as they reach the airport. No one is around. There’s not even a fence or anything.

“So,” he says after clearing his throat, “ready to do something very illegal?”

“You only live once, don’t you?”

Theon doesn’t think further on it and gets out of the car.

It’s almost anticlimactic – there are no guards around, and they’re entirely alone as they walk into the field.

A field which is kind of muddy, which also means that Robb’s nice polished shoes are getting dirty along with the hem of his trousers. Theon’s old sneakers can’t get any more ruined than they already are, so who cares. Robb doesn’t seem to even give a damn though – he walks pretty fast until they reach an actual low fence. The lane is just in front of them, far enough that they won’t risk getting hurt but close enough that the moment one airplane flies past them Theon can’t hear one thing because of the noise.

When it’s gone and he turns towards Robb, he has dirt on his face and he’s grinning hard enough to hurt, except that it doesn’t look like it’s hurting.

“Robb, let me tell you, it takes some weird shit to make you this happy.”

“Yeah, well, you still came along, didn’t you?” Robb has to raise his voice to be heard, and he still looks entirely too gorgeous to be real. He reaches for his tie and loosens it a bit, enough to expose a bit of neck, and shit, he really needs to _stop_ , Theon thinks. It’s not doing anything to quell the attraction he’s been feeling since day two into the science project and considering that his target here would be making friends, rather than alienate the guy forever, he should just stop.

“That I did,” he admits. “It’s not the weirdest shit I’ve seen making someone happy, anyway.”

And damn, why did he say it? It came out at once, and his voice automatically turned bitter, and of course Robb notices, because he moves closer with this determined look on his face, and Theon is about to tell him to forget it when another airplane takes off. Robb grabs his arm and drags him down to sit – on his jacket. Christ, is the guy insane? Theon sincerely hopes he knows how to wash mud off it.

They watch the plane fly off into the sky and then Robb turns back to him.

“What do you mean with that?”

“Sorry?”

“Don’t play dumb. The weirdest shit thing. It was upsetting you just to mention it.”

“It’s old news,” Theon replies, figuring that he should just cut it here.

“Doesn’t mean you still weren’t upset.”

What the hell should he answer to that, when Robb is looking at him that earnestly? That he doesn’t know how to talk about it because he never talked about it to anyone? That he carefully still times when and how to get home so he doesn’t run into Ramsay Bolton on the stairs by mistake? That no one ever wanted to hear it out?

“It’s – uh, you probably realized I don’t have that many friends. It’s that, the last time I sort of made one – it was this guy who lives in my building. Well, I didn’t make one, he decided we should be friends rather than the other way around, and – as stated. Weird shit. His idea of hanging out was throwing rocks at stray cats hoping he’d catch them in the eyes. His and his friends’ idea of hanging out, for that matter. After a couple months they wanted me to do it, and I didn’t really want to. I didn’t even want to hang out with them but no one else would hang with _me_ , so. And. Uh, that time you noticed my left ring finger hangs weird?”

Robb nods, still looking entirely focused on him, and fuck it’s _distracting_. Theon doesn’t even know why he’s telling him any of this.

“He broke it.”

“What? How old were you?”

“I was… twelve? He was fourteen or fifteen. I – uh, I didn’t even tell anyone after running back home, it wasn’t a good idea at the time, and my sister noticed a day later or so and brought me to the hospital. The idiot got scared and had tried to set him on his own so they had to break it again and re-set it but it never healed quite right. Next time I saw him I might have kicked him in the shin and then I avoided him and his crew for the next few years, but from then on I figured I was better off on my own. So. Yeah. Not the weirdest shit I’ve ever seen.”

Robb is looking at him as if he’s outraged on his behalf and sort of sorry about that, too, which is – well, Asha had known but never said anything, and at least she never blamed him, but it’s not like they talked about it. And it’s making him feel kind of ridiculous, because while it’s nice to see someone giving a shit, but he has no fucking clue of what he should do with it.

“Shit, that’s awful. And you said this guy is still hanging around your place?”

“I avoid him. It’s worked out so far.”

“I should hope.”

“Anyway. Uh. I didn’t say it before, but – I kinda get why you’d want to get on a plane. Hell, I’ve been thinking the same for years.”

And where did that shit come from? Is he so bad off that he’s going to just blurt it out in front of the first sympathetic person coming his way? Still, Robb’s eyes go soft and he moves just a little bit closer. His jacket is still barely enough for the both of them to sit on.

“I can see why, if that is what your neighbors are made of. Damn, I must have sounded really stupid before, right?”

“About what?”

“You just told me that the last person you hung out with broke your finger and it doesn’t take a genius to figure out that your dad must be a really shitty guy. Don’t look at me like that, we spent a week on that project and the few times you mentioned him weren’t flattering. Anyway, me having twenty people wanting to copy my homework is really nothing in comparison.”

Theon swallows down, looking down at his hands because he really can’t look at Robb right now. “Don’t be an idiot, Stark. Your problems aren’t meaningless just because someone else has it worse and I’m not gonna take fucking offense about it. I’d still say fuck to all of ‘em, they can do their own homework.”

“Nice prospect,” Robb agrees, and then Theon looks back up at him as he hears another plane rushing by.

For a moment he stares into Robb’s eyes, and shit but he’s looking at him with such sympathy that he wants to revel in it, and he’s about to do something very stupid when he notices that while Robb’s eyes are blue, they shouldn’t be _electric_ blue, and his face shouldn’t be either and –

“Kids, you do know you can’t be here, don’t you?”

_Shit, shit, shit._

He turns to his back to find two police officers standing behind them, a car with blue lights behind them, and _fuck_.

He had hoped they’d manage to do this without being noticed.

And the last fucking thing he needs is getting arrested right now – Asha’s out of the country, he can’t go and phone his uncle because he’d have to tell his mom and she’s nowhere near okay enough to hear this kind of thing, and if he calls his dad or anyone on that side of the family they’ll be mad also because he was hanging out with Robb.

Which is something his dad highly disapproved of – Theon should have never told him about the science project, and he carefully lied about the other times they met. Never mind that only Balon Greyjoy would disapprove of _Robb_ , but he had made it clear that he didn’t want him hanging around with some obnoxious rich kid who’d judge every piece of furniture if he walked into their humble abode.

Or some obnoxious rich kid with a functional home life, more probably.

Also he doesn’t need a fucking criminal record, not when he got a couple warnings already for having stolen food from a supermarket twice, but in his defense he was fifteen, no one was at home and he wasn’t left money to buy groceries.

Then again, he should just man up and take the blame. He wasn’t going to get into any scholarship anyway, he might as well spare Robb the criminal record.

But Robb stands up before him.

“Well, yes,” he replies, looking adequately contrite. “But – it was all my fault. I mean, it was _his_ car, but I was the one driving and I was the one convincing him to do it. If you have to take someone’s generalities, just take mine, all right?”

What.

The.

Hell.

The officer raises an eyebrow at the two of them as Theon stands up, taking in their appearance. “Son, you do realize this doesn’t seem a very likely story?”

“But that’s the way it went,” Robb replies with his stupid earnest face, and _why is he doing this_?

“Are you sure you want a criminal record this bad?” The officer still looks entirely dubious about this.

Then the other officer – a tall guy with a pretty bad burn scar on his face rolls his eyes, grabs a pair of handcuffs and moves the first out of the way.

“Slynt, how about you shut your fucking trap? If that’s the story he wants to stick with, that’s his bloody business. Now you two just get the hell into the car. We’re bringing you to the station and we’ll sort this out. I don’t care what the story is as long as you both agree on it, clear?”

Robb gives the man a curt nod and Theon doesn’t even know what to make of this as the officer handcuffs him to Robb. Robb grabs his dirty jacket and lets himself be led in the backseat, and Theon follows suit.

The moment they leave and officer-with-a-burn-scar turns on the radio, Theon leans in close to Robb, hoping the first policeman doesn’t hear them.

“Robb, _what the fuck_? Are you insane? It was my idea!”

“You only came up with it because I was brooding,” Robb promptly replies. “I’m not letting you take the blame for it.”

“Yeah, sure, so _you_ end up with a criminal record? You are the one who doesn’t need it. Just let me take the blame, okay? It’s not gonna change much in the long run.”

“Oh, sure, so since for some reason you’re already expendable I should blame it on you when I was in on it as much as you were? And when you offered to drive me up there because _I_ wanted to do a dumb thing? Forget it.”

“You really do want your dad to kill me the moment he finds out?”

“My dad would kill _me_ if I ditched my responsibilities. Never mind one thing – if you take all the blame and have to spend a couple days locked up, who’s going to bail you out?”

Theon opens his mouth. Then closes it.

“No one,” he admits a moment later. Damn. Robb really did listen to all his off-handed comments in the time they’ve known each other, didn’t he?

He expects an answer. He doesn’t expect the fingers on Robb’s handcuffed hand to thread with his own a moment later.

His throat goes dry at once as he doesn’t even think about it before squeezing back.

Then he wonders, _what the fuck am I doing?_

“Thanks for the date, though,” Robb says a moment later. “Totally beat Joffrey’s party. We definitely should do that again. Maybe without the part where we break the law.”

Theon finds himself smiling without even realizing it, and by the time he knows he’s doing it, he doesn’t even want to stop. “Sounds good. So no handcuffs next time?”

“Unless you're into that kind of thing,” Robb replies oh-so-serenely again, and –

And _shit_ , did he just say –

Fuck him, he did. He’s looking at him as if he doesn’t give a shit that they’ve just been fucking arrested and that they’re handcuffed to each other and that he's definitely not getting out of this with a spotless criminal record, regardless of what they charge him with. And as if he doesn’t give a shit that he’s ruined his new, fancy clothes, and like he fucking enjoyed it, and his eyes are still so ridiculously blue, and –

Maybe he should just admit that he’s a little bit in love with Robb Stark.

Or not just a little bit.

So maybe he’s not thinking as he moves forward and carefully kisses the corner of Robb’s mouth, and he’s never kissed anyone like that in his entire life, but then Robb moves his head just a bit and _shit he’s kissing him properly_ and why couldn’t they have been on their own? He can hardly kiss the guy properly in a fucking cop car, can he?

Then the car abruptly stops and the policeman with the burn scar starts laughing.

“Clegane, what –“

“You know what, this is just too hilarious. I say we let them go.”

“ _What_? Clegane, they were trespassing. You do realize that –”

“Bite me, Slynt. Are you serious? They didn’t hurt anyone or themselves and they obviously aren’t going to become real bloody criminals just because of that. And the last thing anyone needs here is acts of chivalry when chivalry’s been dead for centuries for such a stupid fucking thing. You two, just get the fuck out.”

“Are you –” Robb starts.

“Kid, I’m sure you don’t want a criminal record _that_ bad. Just get out. You can think about your actions while walking back to your car.”

Theon doesn’t even let Robb argue – he knows an out when he sees one. He opens the door and drags Robb out, thanking the officer profusely, and he doesn’t realize that the bastard didn’t uncuff them until they’re well away.

“Ah, shit,” he says, looking down at their still joined hands. Robb looks like he could laugh so hard he’d cry, if he just let himself do it.

“Wait,” he says a moment later. “Your car’s a stick, isn’t it?”

“Fuck, I had forgotten about that,” Theon groans, because _of course_ that car being fucking old means that of course it’s not automatic, which means that if they want to drive out of here Robb is going to have to drive because they handcuffed his left to Theon’s right.

“Well,” Robb says, “My half brother’s in the police. I guess we can try and drive up to his station and see if he’s willing to help us with this?”

“I guess it’s a date,” Theon answers, unable to stop snickering, and then Robb tugs at his hand and drags him closer and –

Fine. He hadn’t thought, when leaving that party, that he’d end up kissing Robb Stark quite passionately on the side of the highway while being fucking handcuffed to him and with the two of them covered in mud, but he could do a lot worse.

A whole lot worse.

Hell, he hadn’t thought he’d go and _kiss Robb Stark_ in the first place.

“Not that I’m complaining,” he says when they break up for air, “but – was this –”

“Greyjoy, I have eyes. I’ve been looking for an excuse to talk to you for months.”

“You – you _what_?”

“Well, I never walked up to you because you always look like you’d rather be on your own and I wanted to respect that? But then we got paired up, and – yeah.”

Theon can hardly put into words what he’s feeling right now.

Especially about the part where Robb never initiated a conversation because he was _respecting that he’d rather be on his own_.

“Are you even fucking real?” Theon settles on, and kisses Robb again before he can answer.

It takes them half an hour to get back to the car and two hours to drive back to the city, considering that Robb has to tell Theon each time when they have to move the stick and half of those times it’s not quick enough and the engine shuts down on them. They arrive at Robb’s brother’s station at four in the morning, all their clothes covered in dried mud. The gas is also almost over.

Robb’s brother – Jon, he says – looks at them like he doesn’t even know what to say and maybe he doesn't even want to say anything in the first place.

“Robb, you do realize that the moment your mom sees your suit she’s going to scream to the heavens?”

“I can clean that up myself.”

“Christ, just bring it to a dry cleaner. You’re nowhere near equipped for that. Anyway, come in. I should have some key that could open those cuffs. Do I have to keep my mouth shut about that, by the way?”

“If you can?”

Jon rolls his eyes and goes to his desk. He comes back with a bunch of keys which he swears work for all the brands of handcuffs they use so there has to be one that might fit. He finds it on the tenth try and then confiscates the handcuffs, saying that he’s definitely not letting Robb keep them, and now they really should get out of his sight.

“So,” Robb says when they’re finally outside and their wrists are free, “tomorrow is a school day and it’s four in the morning. How about we go grab some very early breakfast and then tomorrow you can come for lunch at my place?”

“… Did you just imply that we should show up with dirty clothes and having pulled an all-nighter?”

“You only live once, don’t you?”

And at that – if he wasn’t in love before, he thinks he’s now. How can he not be, with the way Robb is smiling up at him?

“You know what, let’s do it. But you’re paying. I used up all my money for the gas.”

“I don’t see the problem.”

So Robb buys him breakfast. Then they go to school after washing their faces at the diner’s restroom. Everyone looks at Robb as if some kind of bodysnatcher took his place and Robb laughs to himself the entire day – he also doesn’t hand over his homework over to anyone who asks and Theon can’t help smirking to himself at that.

At lunch, Robb’s parents don’t kill him for some miraculous reason, even if it’s obvious that they don’t buy that it was all Robb's fault. 

Before they can disappear inside Robb’s room, though, Robb’s first sister, who introduced herself as Sansa, stops him on the stairs and tells him that she’s so glad that Robb has finally grabbed the guts to invite him over properly and not with the science project excuse, because he’s been apparently crushing on him for months, and she hopes that they’re ridiculously happy together before dashing off with her best friend, the two of them giggling to themselves.

Theon isn’t even sure he can wrap his head around Robb _crushing on him_ , but then Robb tells him to come on up, he can get the both of them clean clothes, and he runs up the stairs without trying to hide it.

Half an hour later, they’re making out on Robb’s bed and he’s wearing a pair of pajama pants and a Mumford & Sons t-shirt of Robb's, both of which are slightly large on him. It feels miles better than his brothers’ hand-me-downs ever have.

“I still haven’t thanked you for – y’know, not letting anyone add stuff to my criminal record,” he blurts after a bit. “Not that it’s that much of it, and it’s nothing horrible, but –”

“I knew about that, actually.”

“… You did?”

“Jon tends to do background searches even when no one asks him to. I told him I didn’t want to know and he pushed and told me anyway, but – well, I figured you could do without the last one. And I don’t really give a shit about your _criminal record_. Doesn’t seem to me like you killed anyone by now, or am I wrong?”

“Shut up, of course –”

“Then there’s no problem, is it?” Robb cuts him before kissing him again and effectively shutting up.

Maybe karma has finally hit the good stride as far as he’s concerned, Theon thinks as he wraps his arms around Robb’s waist.

He’s pretty sure that if Robb was an accident, though, then he’s never been so glad to end up in one in his entire life.

End.


End file.
